A single mum from Salford has created a peer-led support group to offer a “safe space” for parents of children who deal with mental health issues.
Dot Tomkinson created ‘Stronger Together’ to offer a place for caregivers to “sit down with a brew” and share their experiences.
Based at St Paul’s Community Hall in Walkden, the group runs the last Thursday of every month.
Dot, who herself is a community worker, said: “I wholeheartedly believe that there is a need out there for parents to get together.”
She has been self-funding the group throughout the 10 months it has been active but has recently secured a grant of £250 from the government to help keep it up and running.
She states that the idea arose after she helped her child battle through many of his own struggles.
Dot explained that her son, Ethan, was diagnosed with ADHD aged seven and from 11 years old “spent time deciding who he was, his sexuality and who he wanted to be.”
However, it was when her son called her from his father’s house last year explaining that he had slipped into a dark place, that Dot began to need support.
She followed: “We do have an open and honest relationship, and it just became evident that other health issues were creeping in.”
This was what ultimately drove Dot into trying to find a group that focused on the parents. She explained: “I’m a strong female…but this is a situation I could not fix as it was not my mental health.”
After speaking to her GP and finding out there was no organisations to support carers, Dot decided to create ‘Stronger Together’. After publishing a survey on social media, to which 19 out of 20 respondents replied saying they would benefit from such a group, the group was formed.
Its sole focus is to meet others and to guide each other through everyday life. A Facebook group has now been created in addition to the monthly meet up, which currently holds over 90 members, most of which have neurodivergent children and find comfort in communicating on the platform.
The name, which came about due to the strong bond that Dot and her son hold, is also a representation of “parents coming together which will create a stronger community”. The safety pin logo is “a symbol amongst Gen – Z’s which means that you are a safe space for people to come speak to you” and in turn, is why she chose to honour it on the poster.
Dot has spoken out about the unfair stigma put on individuals, such as her son. She said: “When I was carrying my baby, I didn’t know if they were a male or a female and it didn’t matter either way so why does it matter now. I love my child for the human that they are.”
She wants parents to remember that they are not responsible for their child’s mental health and can only support them through it. Her group is a place where she educates how to do this, and she is eager to raise awareness as there will be others in need who won’t know there is such a place to turn to.
Anyone interested in joining can contact Dot via her ‘Stronger Together’ Facebook group.
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